Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
