Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
