u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
