Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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