You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
