Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
