I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
