Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages

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  (803): Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages http://tfl.nu/95a0
  Replies (44) Good night (6159) Bad night (1445)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.

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  (410): She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY. http://tfl.nu/v8u7
  Replies (85) Good night (1345) Bad night (12804)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  bitches.

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  (614): can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!? (740): bitches. http://tfl.nu/evq4
  Replies (58) Good night (9027) Bad night (1162)
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  (510): View more from California

  Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.

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  (510): Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it. http://tfl.nu/5742
  Replies (15) Good night (3653) Bad night (1217)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.

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  (517): My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow. http://tfl.nu/o1qn
  Replies (11) Good night (4415) Bad night (1140)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.

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  (240): and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well. http://tfl.nu/nn8d
  Replies (12) Good night (3200) Bad night (1062)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it

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  (615): Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it http://tfl.nu/48wy
  Replies (10) Good night (1188) Bad night (3486)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.

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  (774): i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub. http://tfl.nu/0yor
  Replies (10) Good night (1280) Bad night (2370)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.

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  (250): Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment. http://tfl.nu/7c81
  Replies (10) Good night (1443) Bad night (2445)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car

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  (586): somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car http://tfl.nu/ci3e
  Replies (6) Good night (997) Bad night (2234)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night

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  (281): It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night http://tfl.nu/xp13
  Replies (9) Good night (956) Bad night (1207)
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  (315): View more from New York

  im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.

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  (315): im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass. http://tfl.nu/ll9k
  Replies (4) Good night (636) Bad night (985)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?

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  (860): nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud? http://tfl.nu/etdo
  Replies (2) Good night (831) Bad night (373)
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  (650): View more from California

  I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.

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  (650): I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it. http://tfl.nu/sejz
  Replies (2) Good night (795) Bad night (358)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.

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  (406): Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us. http://tfl.nu/j8er
  Replies (3) Good night (285) Bad night (653)

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