I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
