i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.