Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!

(1-313): View more from Michigan

I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????

(313): View more from Michigan

Honestly.

(313): View more from Michigan

Don't say a word.

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(313) So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays! (1-313) I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol????? (313) Honestly. (313) Don't say a word. http://tfl.nu/wjb7

Replies (7) Good night (1211) Bad night (571)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Hey its my first time.

(513): View more from Ohio

I think you mean "it's my first time"

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(859): Hey its my first time. (513): I think you mean "it's my first time" http://tfl.nu/xwgu

Replies (55) Good night (703) Bad night (1831)
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(269): View more from Michigan

He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.

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(269): He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better. http://tfl.nu/o020

Replies (21) Good night (5573) Bad night (1880)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.

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(508): I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long. http://tfl.nu/opva

Replies (15) Good night (1502) Bad night (2959)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

This is why we're friends.

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(780): If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator. (1-780): This is why we're friends. http://tfl.nu/yp3s

Replies (7) Good night (4586) Bad night (1075)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty

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(505): koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty http://tfl.nu/dl5w

Replies (29) Good night (1611) Bad night (4224)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"

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(606): It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?" http://tfl.nu/9bht

Replies (7) Good night (2580) Bad night (1063)
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(518): View more from New York

Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.

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(518): Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew. http://tfl.nu/8r8n

Replies (31) Good night (3662) Bad night (1472)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?

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(250): Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv? http://tfl.nu/hacf

Replies (9) Good night (574) Bad night (1311)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.

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(307): Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick. http://tfl.nu/ynec

Replies (15) Good night (2292) Bad night (539)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out

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(828): Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out http://tfl.nu/cm81

Replies (0) Good night (1012) Bad night (389)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.

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(919): Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties. http://tfl.nu/7t6a

Replies (9) Good night (1606) Bad night (365)
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(417): View more from Missouri

So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?

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(417): So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty? http://tfl.nu/l95a

Replies (3) Good night (747) Bad night (292)
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(721): View more from

I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix

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(721): I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix http://tfl.nu/vrhy

Replies (5) Good night (701) Bad night (361)
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(44): View more from United Kingdom

Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?

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(44): Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops? http://tfl.nu/g9tn

Replies (4) Good night (826) Bad night (260)

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