Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.

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  (214): I wish you were here to vomit in your hand. http://tfl.nu/my7z
  Replies (4) Good night (617) Bad night (1896)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame

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  (571): i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame http://tfl.nu/i2ht
  Replies (48) Good night (8968) Bad night (698)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple

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  (630): we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple http://tfl.nu/8ojo
  Replies (60) Good night (799) Bad night (6167)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside

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  (501): there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside http://tfl.nu/1bna
  Replies (85) Good night (7093) Bad night (846)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.

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  (608): This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night. http://tfl.nu/r58q
  Replies (12) Good night (8958) Bad night (1012)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls

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  (330): Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls http://tfl.nu/m4sw
  Replies (22) Good night (798) Bad night (3843)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn

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  (330): apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn http://tfl.nu/ven0
  Replies (14) Good night (1040) Bad night (5009)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass

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  (403): I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass http://tfl.nu/mda2
  Replies (17) Good night (3053) Bad night (2575)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?

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  (775): He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him? http://tfl.nu/kkqj
  Replies (19) Good night (689) Bad night (1729)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.

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  (201): Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain. http://tfl.nu/l4y5
  Replies (11) Good night (2639) Bad night (1389)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.

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  (519): There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause. http://tfl.nu/1uor
  Replies (0) Good night (603) Bad night (662)
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  (315): View more from New York

  What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?

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  (315): What's a good pandora station to masturbate to? http://tfl.nu/c2un
  Replies (8) Good night (575) Bad night (978)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.

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  (484): wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that. http://tfl.nu/dlkz
  Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (367)
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  (530): View more from California

  Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.

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  (530): Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery. http://tfl.nu/qyfd
  Replies (2) Good night (307) Bad night (539)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.

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  (715): Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue. http://tfl.nu/ct5q
  Replies (1) Good night (166) Bad night (349)

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