fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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