google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.