I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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