You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize