I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
