I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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