he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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