Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
