Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
