I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
