Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
