Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
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Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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