he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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