things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
