She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
