it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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