dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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