East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
