hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
