Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
