This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
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Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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