Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize