Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We are all done wearing pants today
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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