he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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