You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
