I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
