who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
it glows. i had to have it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
