Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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