dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
