that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
