New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
