she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
