His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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