So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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