I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she peed on how many people?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
