false alarm. still invincible.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
