my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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