:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
