Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
