i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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