the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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