New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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