I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
handjob tips. give me some.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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