Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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