We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
