bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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