I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
