After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
