the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
