her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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