the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
