I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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