I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
