Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
