But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
