So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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