So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
