I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
