Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
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My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
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You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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